JUST A BIT OF A WHINGE

rightio sooo you are just going to have to tolerate me for a bit... it is way past pumpkin turning into stage and I am almost way past sleep.

This gorgeous kid is my matthew. Ok so the metal in his mouth is not to my liking but then again its not my mouth.

It is almost 1am here and I have been up driving around the streets and madly phoning this little cherub because he "didn't want to" come home.... fair enough I said so just give me the address details and ph numbers and I will see you tomrw... HMMM bit of a sticky point that one was apparently.... he didn't feel that he could give me those details and hung up the phone on me.... everytime I called. OK soooo I went and took some frustration out on the kitchen... thought about it for a while and then got into my car to go cruise his regular skateboarding haunts. nope no matthew and for me well I discovered that driving a car even if a little tired is a ridiculous thing to attempt. I didn't feel right about Matthew..... I felt he was again into the dope and possibly the drinking.... his eyes tonite prove I am probably not wrong.

What is a mumsy to do at this stage???? I actually sank to a new low last week and phoned the local drug dept at the police station and reported my own child. :( god I am so sad that he even feels he needs these drugs.... I have lived the past many years having needed to take a wide range of assorted drugs and pain killers just to get by and I have hated every inch of it. For me there are huge wholes in my memory and there were huge black spots in my moods and day to day copeabilities. I have finally found a medication that for now pretty much removes all of the other pain killers and I can finally see that big nasty cloud of pain and shame lifting off of me. I am slowly returning to a me I haven't been for at least 7 yrs. He has lived with me thru all of that.... I just cannot understand why he does this. Anyway..... The police were great and came around ... about the same time as Matthew showed and pretty much let him know the path he is on.

sighhhhh ok thats enough its nearly 1am and I have yet another huge day tomorrow... ermmm today

HUGGLES

C

MISS ME ???

hello again

I am sure that other than the beautiful Jen that this blog is purely for the sake of me getting some words out of my soul into the world.
Oakely Doakely.............. soooooo what has been happening. Well not alot but a great deal of alot, omg I make no sense at all even to me! Lets break this all down shall we.
My Health,..... well I went to Sydney a couple of times and saw a colorectal specialist down there about the periodic bleeding and pain and got the answers I needed. Bottom line Hehehe get it bottom OH DEAR it is just too late at night for these kinda lame jokes.... basically the bleeding and pain is not unexpected with the severity of the lack of peristalsis (movement ) that I have in my bowel. The surgeon feels there is nothing more that can be done about this problem than is being done. DARN!!!! (could say some other words here but I would get banned from blogging ever again) Good news is... my tummy has FINALLY decided to give me a break and start to behave... somewhat. I went thru a really bad patch of neck pain and migraines not long after this trip and after much pain and many injections for the pain my dr finally sent me to see a "pain specialist" ohhhh myyy god... this man is magic.. he went over my xrays of neck with a fine tooth comb and gave total undivided attention to the problem... he prescribed a drug and gave me the warning that it "may not work" but we needed to try it anyway.... well it worked alright... I am almost back to the me I was ooooo I can't remember when.... probably a good 7 + years I have no headache anymore and no unbearable pain... bad news is the drug will cost at least $115 a month... but hey........... it works!!!
My Marriage.... oooooo I went thru a massive rocky patch with this one... hubby and I came as close as I think I ever want to get to a total split. Most of our problems seem to centre around my 15 yr old sons misadventures (my husband is his step father) and my husbands total lack of tolerance or understanding of the situation. I think we are kinda on the same page again. at least I hope we are..... stay tuned for this one
My Son.... well as you could expect from previous paragraph... my son has upped the pressure bigfold... he was (has.... still is or not I don't know yet) smoking marijuanna I think daily. And to say it mildly he hasn't been the easiest little cherub to live with. What do you do though???? What would you do if you were in my shoes ?? (I will write more about this situation but just not right now.... don't want to overwhelm you with too much info yet). The final note is and always will be for me is that Matthew is my child that I brought into this world and no matter what he does or says, nothing will ever change that "I" introduced him to the world. I live by the saying of "nothing worth doing is ever easy" when it comes to matthew,... He is MY worth doing!
My Daughter... Lala is going great guns, her belly is (omg I should lie down on my wooden floors... touch wood) fantastic. She is a adorable kid my Laura but again very very will full at times..... hmmmmm I wonder if my being a firey red head has anything at all to do with my childrens complete stubborness.................... NAHHHHHHHHHHHH
I am facing the return of the Singing Lesson from hell this weekend and yes I am totally organising the whole thing ( I am sure I only offered help) ..... if he yells at me this time I may well just yell back. LOL.
ok its midnight and I am about to turn soooo thats it for me tonight.... hopefully it won't take me 6mths to post again...
HUGGLES
c