This gorgeous kid is my matthew. Ok so the metal in his mouth is not to my liking but then again its not my mouth.
It is almost 1am here and I have been up driving around the streets and madly phoning this little cherub because he "didn't want to" come home.... fair enough I said so just give me the address details and ph numbers and I will see you tomrw... HMMM bit of a sticky point that one was apparently.... he didn't feel that he could give me those details and hung up the phone on me.... everytime I called. OK soooo I went and took some frustration out on the kitchen... thought about it for a while and then got into my car to go cruise his regular skateboarding haunts. nope no matthew and for me well I discovered that driving a car even if a little tired is a ridiculous thing to attempt. I didn't feel right about Matthew..... I felt he was again into the dope and possibly the drinking.... his eyes tonite prove I am probably not wrong.
What is a mumsy to do at this stage???? I actually sank to a new low last week and phoned the local drug dept at the police station and reported my own child. :( god I am so sad that he even feels he needs these drugs.... I have lived the past many years having needed to take a wide range of assorted drugs and pain killers just to get by and I have hated every inch of it. For me there are huge wholes in my memory and there were huge black spots in my moods and day to day copeabilities. I have finally found a medication that for now pretty much removes all of the other pain killers and I can finally see that big nasty cloud of pain and shame lifting off of me. I am slowly returning to a me I haven't been for at least 7 yrs. He has lived with me thru all of that.... I just cannot understand why he does this. Anyway..... The police were great and came around ... about the same time as Matthew showed and pretty much let him know the path he is on.
sighhhhh ok thats enough its nearly 1am and I have yet another huge day tomorrow... ermmm today
HUGGLES
C
