My Lovely little Laura is sick again, and its just breaking my heart. To explain, Laura has inherited my bowel condition sooo in basic terms she has sluggish bowel from hell. We give her a glass of bowel prep every day just to keep her somewhat normal, and then if she shows signs of a blockage or loaded bowel then I give her as much bowel prep as it takes in as short a time as possible til her output (nicer word to describe it) is clear. This is a terribly draining process on any adult body little own an 8 yr old child. Well I did that last friday ... she had in the course of one day 5 glasses of bowel prep... and I HAD thought we had it covered! If I give her a washout I will always take her to our peadiatrician for a follow appt to make sure all is ok... Which we did yesterday. Unfortunately she has major faecal loading again... sooo long story short I have to put Laura thru hell again and if that fails then she will be put in hospital for the dreaded NasoGastric tube and the bowel prep forced into her system via that. Our new regime for at least the next 10 days is 1/2 a durolax (laxative) tab a day, 4 (yes you read right FOUR) glasses of bowel prep a day, and a mini enema a day. I just feel so sad for her right now. I am so worried how her little body is going to cope with all that bowel prep for such a long time. I worry for her future and the possibility of her ending up with an ostomy. Its one thing to go through personally... but an entirely different matter when its your child. I feel horrible that I have given this condition to her (before you say it, I know I didn't do it deliberately and that there would have been nothing I could have done to prevent it.... but it doesn't make it hurt any less).
I also have this beautiful new friend Jen .. her blog is called "the comfy place" and I am not sure I am capable of putting what she is experiencing into words..... (am crying now) This gorgeous gorgeous woman is MY age and has just been told she may not live out the year! (I agree Jen... "What the?") I have come and sat at my computer for ages over the past few days when I have had a chance to try and come up with some words of wisdom, support, love.... but I am stuck I don't know what to say, I don't know what "I" would want said if the tables were turned and it were me... (I will find these words Jen, ... I promise) I want her to know even though we have just met, that I feel a strong bond of sisterhood to her. I want her to know I am here come rain or shine for her. I am just lost a bit for the words. (I know you will most likely read this...)
I want to inspire her, to send her strength and love.
Illness and the word "SICK" are such dirty dirty words... I HATE them and everything that they can bring into a persons life.... affecting not only the intended target but all and asunder around that person.
Ok I think on that (rather cheery) not I think I should go to bed... its midnight and my owl status is starting to overwhelm me.... I need sleep I think
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